I don’t’ think anyone but someone with hmmm, more than 4 children would know the feeling that washed over when you KNOW that you are wanting another one in the family. It is a feeling that there is another one in the home, there is a person “with you” but not…..
You’ll find yourself setting an extra place and the dinner table, or looking for a child………that isn’t there.
I remember just before I became expectant with Amy, my fifth. Our church was having a service, and the kids were in our pew. The music was playing and we were juuuuussst about to start the service….I looked down at my babes, and turned down the aisle and out the door…I walked to the fellowship hall and I looked , I had my “mama-war-face” on….this child wasn’t in their seat for service….I lifted my voice to call the child….and the name wouldn’t come…I stopped. Then thought, and then had to stand there for several minutes while I laughed to myself…..I replayed the little faces that were in the pew in the sanctuary…Oh my word…they were all there….then WHO was I looking for…..about 10 months later….it was Amy.
These past 3 months or so Aaron and I have both struggled with looking, searching, and allowing space for the next one….we didn’t even mean to….It’s things like packing toothbrushes for your vacation and you get annoyed because you can’t find the other one…..and there aren’t any teeth that would even be using the phantom toothbrush if you could find it.
But there is also a feeling that maybe only a mother would feel. And again, I think this would have to be a feeling born in a mother who has birthed or adopted many children….I am not down-playing the feelings mothers of one or two get….I am simply saying there is just a different feeling…at least there was for me…and I will try to explain from my point-of-view, the burning my soul…when I want another baby…
In many ways I have only felt like I have been a decent parent since Mary, a more attentive mommy with Susie, then only a more patient Mommy since Nathan, and then with Amy….I feel like I have come full circle and I have learned so much…I finally feel like I got it, and parenting is more understood. Children will NEVER cease to throw the proverbial curve balls, but at least you are less shocked and horrified by them.
Let me say it this way…could you imagine, or maybe you experienced this first hand….you work and work to learn something because you feel in your bosom, in your soul that you were meant to do it…..It can be as simple as learning to ride your bike, so let me use that analogy….. You worked and worked. You worked all through your summer vacation to get good at it. You know you can do it…..But….. the moment you can feel the wind in your face…and you can feel the freedom and lightness of self-propelled-travel…….then….your mom yells to “Come on in…..tomorrow school starts”……
Do you remember what it was like to finally really really really get the hang of that new venture? Roller skating, bike riding, sewing, cake decorating, etc….. and once you got it…..you just wanted more? Let me stick with the bike riding thought….do you have any memories of a long bike ride as a youngster….and it felt great, and you felt ten feet tall, and you felt like you had really jumped a personal hurdle??? And as the crickets started their melody in the early evening…and you parked your bike….you already couldn’t wait until you got a chance to do it all again.
Maybe it is a spirit of adventure that drives me, and an undying love for that potential that comes in a seven pound package….all the wonder that Jesus Died for, and all the words of scripture were written for that little one…. Every time in scripture when it reads “whosoever” you know that you just had another one of those “whosoever”s…..God’s treasure, His ultimate gift outside of salvation is in your possession, and God leases a new one out……and a feeling of awesomeness and wonder closes around you……..a baby……
If God ever takes you through a valley, when you think you may lose one, like with Nathan…these thoughts become ever so much more apparent……These Children are not ours…..they DID come from God…and He is waiting to see what you will do with that little soul…
Why do I think He is THAT involved? For the simple reason that children will teach you more about the Lord’s love for you, than you could ever hope to gain from any other “person-to-person” experience….The husband and wife relationship is close…but when God refers to us as children….you begin to learn….and you will see yourself spiritually through your experiences as a parent. Unfailing love, Undeniable devotion, and incredible disappointment when the little one won’t follow…..Ohh how sad we must make the Lord….
Who knows by now you probably feel like I am being redundant…..I hope not….all these words to say……When you really come to a place you understand, and you see the big picture, and you feel like “Lord!! I think I got it!!!” You become that child on the bike again…shouting to you parents….”Look!!! LOOK!!!! I got it!!!!!”
Come this spring…..baby #6 will be here….I am praying for a healthy pregnancy and a wonderful birth….And I want to conclude this little thought with this……If it were not for the Grace and Mercy of the Lord, and the lessons He taught me through many many valleys and mountain tops….I wouldn’t be half of who I am….I do feel like I have something to offer….but not anything without the Lord….I don’t care how many babies I bring home, without the Lord, my home is nothing, and my words….a sounding brass…..
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The Art of Being Funny
Moses has been known to love to laugh. This has at times brought much joy to people. When in church he is always ready to oblige a preacher by laughing heartily at his jokes…The laughter produced by Moses many times has been funnier than the joke that first extracted it. Moses can have an annoying laugh, one that has forced me to tell him to curb because it is almost demonic sounding. Forced laughter in our house is stifled. But in a natural state Moses has a very clean and unadulterated laugh.
Moses is also getting to the age where the elementary jokes form. These jokes are considered in the highest quality…lame. But to the innocent of mind they are funny. To the people that are just awakening to the world and all its meaning they are genius.
Moses’ favorite joke right now is “Pete-and Re-peat” and you will hear him in his room doing any number of chores telling himself this joke and laughing….
“Pete and Re-Pete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off, who was left?” He will then answer himself…”Re-Pete” and he laughs….
This unannounced need to show his comedian proes is enough to embarrass the fire out of you, when company comes and your eight-year-old starts spouting. You shrug, laugh, pat your son on the head and say…”Very funny sweetheart…thanks..” and then you pray that the accolades you gave were enough to curb any further stand-up.
After Moses’ last display of humor I think he sensed his audience had had enough and he needed to scout out new material.
We were on our way to church when Moses had a request.
“Hey, tell me something funny!”
Aaron and I exchanged a rather exaggerated look…that sighed inwardly. We laughed…well here it went…amusement for Moses.
Aaron looked back in his rearview mirror at his son. The look on Moses face was full of anticipation of the funny that would come.
“Knock-knock” Aaron said….
Moses’ face was still smiling…like a deranged manikin. His little eyes shifted over at me like…’is that it?’ though he sat there still waiting for the punch line.
Realizing the silence meant that our son had NO idea what we were talking about I snickered…
Aaron muttered to me..”He doesn’t know what a knock-knock joke is?”
“I believe this is when he gets taught…” I eyed my husband…finding the fact that we were going to introduce to our son an age old American idea…the knock-knock joke.
“Moses, when I tell you ‘knock-knock’ you’re supposed to say ‘who’s there’.” Aaron was grinning from the hilarity in teaching such a subject.
“Ohhhhh”
“Okay…let's try this again.” Aaron maneuvered the van while giving this lesson. “Knock-knock”
Moses was hesitating so I made contact with him and instructed while nodding my head..”Who’s there?” and Moses said it along with me…
Aaron took his queue’ and said “Banana”
Moses exploded in the back seat with laughter…Aaron and I looked at each other…I started laughing…and said “Good job, Honey!”
“Wow, I had no idea I was so funny.” He steered around a bend in the road.
“You just had to have the right audience.” I gave a rye glance his way. He rolled his eyes..
“I guess.” Aaron looked into the mirror to see if Moses, who was genuinely laughing had stopped.
“Moses, Moses….” Aaron drove and talked to his son…”Moses you’re supposed to say ‘Banana who’….” He looked at his son…
“Oooooh”
“Okay, let’s try this again. Knock-knock.” He paused..
I prompted Moses…”Who’s there”
Banana?”
Aaron then proceeds with a joke that is supposed to say “Banana” is at the door about 3-4 times….the joke ends with it being “Orange”…the punch-line being….”Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana again?”
We never really got that far….every time Aaron answered the “door” as a banana it just made Moses crazy with laughter…
We did manage to get through the entire joke once….but he seems to be happy with just answering the door to find whatever ridiculous object his father has dreamed up.
Aaron tried out a less elaborate knock-knock joke.
“Knock-knock” he started
“Who’s there?”
“Boo!” Aaron answered….We waited for Moses’ laughter to subside, he then responded (with prompting)
“Boo-who?”
“It’s just a joke; you don’t have to cry about it.” Moses who doesn’t always fire on all cylinders hesitated for only a moment before bursting, and I do mean BURSTING into laughter.
I still don’t think he understood the logistics of the “knock-knock”….he got to church and he still was making jokes that ran like this..
“Knock-knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Orange!!!” then would follow rails and billows of laughter!!!!
Adults look at us like we have lost our senses….As funny as it is I still cannot believe this is my son…when I have been known at times for a bit of a dry wit…can have a son who is floundering in the area of slap-stick.
Oh well…maybe one day he may have enough of a grip for me to unleash my favorite play ground joke….
“Why do cannibals not eat clowns?”
“Because, they taste funny.”
Moses is also getting to the age where the elementary jokes form. These jokes are considered in the highest quality…lame. But to the innocent of mind they are funny. To the people that are just awakening to the world and all its meaning they are genius.
Moses’ favorite joke right now is “Pete-and Re-peat” and you will hear him in his room doing any number of chores telling himself this joke and laughing….
“Pete and Re-Pete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off, who was left?” He will then answer himself…”Re-Pete” and he laughs….
This unannounced need to show his comedian proes is enough to embarrass the fire out of you, when company comes and your eight-year-old starts spouting. You shrug, laugh, pat your son on the head and say…”Very funny sweetheart…thanks..” and then you pray that the accolades you gave were enough to curb any further stand-up.
After Moses’ last display of humor I think he sensed his audience had had enough and he needed to scout out new material.
We were on our way to church when Moses had a request.
“Hey, tell me something funny!”
Aaron and I exchanged a rather exaggerated look…that sighed inwardly. We laughed…well here it went…amusement for Moses.
Aaron looked back in his rearview mirror at his son. The look on Moses face was full of anticipation of the funny that would come.
“Knock-knock” Aaron said….
Moses’ face was still smiling…like a deranged manikin. His little eyes shifted over at me like…’is that it?’ though he sat there still waiting for the punch line.
Realizing the silence meant that our son had NO idea what we were talking about I snickered…
Aaron muttered to me..”He doesn’t know what a knock-knock joke is?”
“I believe this is when he gets taught…” I eyed my husband…finding the fact that we were going to introduce to our son an age old American idea…the knock-knock joke.
“Moses, when I tell you ‘knock-knock’ you’re supposed to say ‘who’s there’.” Aaron was grinning from the hilarity in teaching such a subject.
“Ohhhhh”
“Okay…let's try this again.” Aaron maneuvered the van while giving this lesson. “Knock-knock”
Moses was hesitating so I made contact with him and instructed while nodding my head..”Who’s there?” and Moses said it along with me…
Aaron took his queue’ and said “Banana”
Moses exploded in the back seat with laughter…Aaron and I looked at each other…I started laughing…and said “Good job, Honey!”
“Wow, I had no idea I was so funny.” He steered around a bend in the road.
“You just had to have the right audience.” I gave a rye glance his way. He rolled his eyes..
“I guess.” Aaron looked into the mirror to see if Moses, who was genuinely laughing had stopped.
“Moses, Moses….” Aaron drove and talked to his son…”Moses you’re supposed to say ‘Banana who’….” He looked at his son…
“Oooooh”
“Okay, let’s try this again. Knock-knock.” He paused..
I prompted Moses…”Who’s there”
Banana?”
Aaron then proceeds with a joke that is supposed to say “Banana” is at the door about 3-4 times….the joke ends with it being “Orange”…the punch-line being….”Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana again?”
We never really got that far….every time Aaron answered the “door” as a banana it just made Moses crazy with laughter…
We did manage to get through the entire joke once….but he seems to be happy with just answering the door to find whatever ridiculous object his father has dreamed up.
Aaron tried out a less elaborate knock-knock joke.
“Knock-knock” he started
“Who’s there?”
“Boo!” Aaron answered….We waited for Moses’ laughter to subside, he then responded (with prompting)
“Boo-who?”
“It’s just a joke; you don’t have to cry about it.” Moses who doesn’t always fire on all cylinders hesitated for only a moment before bursting, and I do mean BURSTING into laughter.
I still don’t think he understood the logistics of the “knock-knock”….he got to church and he still was making jokes that ran like this..
“Knock-knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Orange!!!” then would follow rails and billows of laughter!!!!
Adults look at us like we have lost our senses….As funny as it is I still cannot believe this is my son…when I have been known at times for a bit of a dry wit…can have a son who is floundering in the area of slap-stick.
Oh well…maybe one day he may have enough of a grip for me to unleash my favorite play ground joke….
“Why do cannibals not eat clowns?”
“Because, they taste funny.”
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Pink, with Gold Floors!!!
March 19, 2010, 11:00 am
From the moment our children could talk Aaron has had them in his lap telling them about the Lord. It is regular conversation.
“How big is God?” And then Aaron would place a small thing in his hand and say “You are thiiiiis little to God. But He loves you sooo much.” They giggle at Aaron. But they get the point. God is big.
“Is God strong? Is He magic?” They ask over a sandwich at dinner. Aaron would say “Everything He says happens.” The children sit dreaming of a God that is all powerful.
“Are you older than God, Daddy? When is God’s birthday?” Aaron chuckles and explains that God is eternal. He just always has been, and always will be.
This past year we have noticed an “awakening” in Mary. I say awakening because that is the only term I know to use…it isn’t something “religious” it is my own word as a mommy. I have noticed that as the devotions at night are being told, she looks hard at Aaron. She would sit there as poised as an ostridge, her gangly legs going in all directions. She looks a mess by the end of the day…but I noticed her attention and comprehension had changed. She was actually listening. That steady little look that appeared to be so grumpy at times was her thinking about what daddy was saying.
It was becoming increasingly evident that she knew more than we thought when she would answer questions. Her accuracy was great. We were holding ourselves back a little because just knowing the answers didn’t mean that she was yet old enough or understanding enough to apply the truths of the gospel to her own life. We were waiting.
Months past, many months, the same drill. Sunday morning Service, Sunday school, and then Wednesday night, and devotions every night there wasn’t church. Mary would have her restless moments during all of them, but then you would see her looking at her father with that same intense look. Her mouse like ears tuned into the message.
Aaron and I had prayed a very intense prayer long ago, about 18 months ago. Mary was making it very hard for us, as parents. We thought that if any of our children would “buck” the family, or our faith, or our way of living, it would be Mary. She was so bull headed and just didn’t seem to care that your heart was breaking. Aaron and I took our daughter to the Lord in prayer asking Him to intervene before she spent her life making poor decisions. That she would be yielding to the Lord.
“Daddy, will I go to heaven?” A little girl with fuzzy blonde hair looked into her fathers eyes.
The first thing you want to do with a child is to make them secure, to make them feel loved, and that the monsters will never harm her. You want to look into the eyes of our child and say “Of course Hun….” But you can’t. You would be making your own faith seem like a puke of an idea you took up because you needed a hobby, or fell in love with a fairy tale, and you go to the meetings on Sundays and Wednesdays. The hard line of real faith is when you have to draw it for your children.
“If you trust Jesus as your Saviour, and ask Him to forgive your sins, He WILL save you.” This was asked to us by our little mop top at any given moment….In the car, in the church, over macaroni and cheese. It was tempting to push her and say…”You wanna get saved!?!? Do you want to now!?!?” Any child would see it as..’Ooooo I want to please Mommy, I want to make her happy, so I will say this little prayer and then I will be okay….and mommy will like me’.
What really tightens the screws is when your almost 5 year old can articulate Hell. Your heart aches because you understand the reality of life. You understand that in the end of this life there is such a place for those who never believed. You know that the age of innocence is closing for your daughter. She is getting old enough to put the pieces together. She is reaching an age of accountability for her actions…
“Where is Hell? Is there fire there?” Aaron would hold her in his arms and tell her in calm easy language about what the Bible says, he wouldn’t scare her with threatening language. He would simply inform her and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Many times Aaron would pass by me in tears because he had to reveal even to a child the truth of what awaits those that never belonged to the Lord.
These questions were only proving that she was reaching a time and an age that she was understanding more and more.
What made it all clear that she knew and understood was the way she talked about it to Aaron and I.
“Jesus died for our sins.” She would say
“Mary do you know what sin is?”
“Yes, it is the bad things we do.”
“Do you have sin?”
“Yes, everybody does.”
“What are we supposed to do Mary?” Now let me tell you, we ask different questions all the time….and she would initiate the conversations. We didn’t want this to be a memorized drill session.
“ We need to ask Jesus to come into our hearts…to keep us from the fire.”
“Where is the fire Mary?”
“In Hell. “ She would answer simply…
“Does Jesus love you Mary?”
“Yes..” She would look at you like you were crazy, cuz Jesus loves everybody!
These little moments of conversation were peppered throughout the weeks. Aaron and I committed her once again to prayer.
About 2 months ago she started being more pointed with her questions and thoughts. We knew it was close.
In family devotions one night Mary was getting terribly fidgety. Aaron’s subject matter wasn’t anything more than the same “Victor VS loser” story…I motioned for Mary to come and sit in my lap. I tilted her back with me in the chair. She was still listening to the story. Aaron sensed her uneasiness. He started into the gospel message. Believe me, no scare tactics…just the love of Christ…Mary was very restless.
The evening closed. It was the next morning that the spiritual wheels started to turn. Aaron was on vacation. He was running errands in town. Mary came up to me and asked some questions. The same questions, but she was asking about salvation.
I cut her off at one part of something she was saying on the matter. “Honey, are you saved?”
She sighed….”I think I am.”
“How do you know?”
A sigh again….”Mommy will you help me, help me to be saved.”
There it was, the question. Like the light at the end of a dreary tunnel…as clear as Cinderella’s slipper on a velvet cushion….she wanted the gift, she was reaching….I knew Aaron was close in town…I knew he would want to be here….I looked at Mary.
“Do you want to talk to Daddy?” I wasn’t putting her off…I was really trying to see what she would say with a mild distraction. She nodded.
I picked up the phone and called Aaron…I made a brief statement to Aaron that Mary needed to talk.
“Daddy?” Mary never was good on a phone. “Daddy…can you come and talk to me?”
Daddy on the other line was having a hard time hearing her because as usual she got shy on the line.
Mary handed the phone to me. “Hey, Honey, just wondering if you could come home, Mary wants to talk to you.” Without saying more, Aaron knew what I was stabbing at.
“I’ll be right there.”
I hung the phone up, and turned to Mary…it was very hard to not just trot her off to a room and guide her through a conversion. I wanted this to be real, and if indeed it was we would see when we switched parents and let her lead again.
“Daddy will be home in a minute to talk to you.” Mary grinned. Soon Susanna came by. “Hey wanna play dollhouse!?!?”
The girls ran off…it was only about 8 or so minutes before Aaron stepped in the door. Since Mary wasn’t there I gave him a brief synopsis of the conversation. He went to the girl’s room. My suspiciouns were correct. She was sincere. Upon entering the bedroom, where Mary was playing dollhouse, she asked Daddy to talk to her.
I wasn’t wanting to stop anything or be distracting…I simply kept my place at the computer as Daddy and daughter went into the bedroom.
They went into his office. (the following is taken from Daddy’s account)
“Daddy I want to get saved.” She sat on a stack of her daddy’s reference books.
He briefly went over the gospel, reviewing sin, and that sin keeps us from heaven. He told her that Hell was a real place that Jesus didn’t want her to go to. He explained that Jesus loved her very much and died on the cross, and rose again…so she could go to heaven. He told her all she had to do was to ask Jesus to forgive her, Save her, and believe that He can do it.
“Mary, would you like to ask Jesus to forgive you and save you?”
“Yes, Can you help me?” She smiled at her daddy, trusting him to lead the way.
“Okay, let’s pray.” He went on to help lead in prayer. Mary was reverting back into shy mode. She wanted daddy to lead in prayer…as she followed, speaking words that expressed her feelings and faith in the Lord.
Through the miracle of faith our little baby, the one we asked God for…the one that took 4 years to get…completed her second birth, into the family of God.
Aaron asked her. “Mary, if you died today…where would you go?”
“I would go to heaven, because Jesus saved me.” Aaron was extatic. He came out of the room weeping. Tears of joy were in his eyes. Mary bounded down the hallway to see her best friend Moe.
Aaron followed to make sure that Moses wasn’t confused in what happened. As I came around the corner I saw Moses embracing his baby sister.
Susie was in the classroom sticking legos together. Mary looked in
“I got saved.” Mary beamed over the baby gate at her younger sibling. Susie cocked an eyebrow.
“Wellllll That’s silly.” She said a lego in each hand.
Very conscientious of Mary’s easily bruised feelings we were quick to correct our even more sensitive Susie…We all grinned like Barney the dinosaur characters at Susie and said in a chipper voice…”No, it’s a good thing to be saved!”
Susie never moved…only nailed on a smile as fake as Dolly Parton’s fingernails….
“Wellllll then it’s WONDERFUL!” she grinned, still clutching the toys in her hands.
Aaron and I were so close to laughing both from the silliness of the obvious, oblivious Susie, and our Mary trusting the Saviour…Aaron and I shared a precious glance as we left the hallway where Moe and Mary were still talking about the decision made…the last words that will ring in my ears were these….mary who was talking about heaven…and HER mansion….
“Yep, and mine….will be pink, with Gold floors.”
From the moment our children could talk Aaron has had them in his lap telling them about the Lord. It is regular conversation.
“How big is God?” And then Aaron would place a small thing in his hand and say “You are thiiiiis little to God. But He loves you sooo much.” They giggle at Aaron. But they get the point. God is big.
“Is God strong? Is He magic?” They ask over a sandwich at dinner. Aaron would say “Everything He says happens.” The children sit dreaming of a God that is all powerful.
“Are you older than God, Daddy? When is God’s birthday?” Aaron chuckles and explains that God is eternal. He just always has been, and always will be.
This past year we have noticed an “awakening” in Mary. I say awakening because that is the only term I know to use…it isn’t something “religious” it is my own word as a mommy. I have noticed that as the devotions at night are being told, she looks hard at Aaron. She would sit there as poised as an ostridge, her gangly legs going in all directions. She looks a mess by the end of the day…but I noticed her attention and comprehension had changed. She was actually listening. That steady little look that appeared to be so grumpy at times was her thinking about what daddy was saying.
It was becoming increasingly evident that she knew more than we thought when she would answer questions. Her accuracy was great. We were holding ourselves back a little because just knowing the answers didn’t mean that she was yet old enough or understanding enough to apply the truths of the gospel to her own life. We were waiting.
Months past, many months, the same drill. Sunday morning Service, Sunday school, and then Wednesday night, and devotions every night there wasn’t church. Mary would have her restless moments during all of them, but then you would see her looking at her father with that same intense look. Her mouse like ears tuned into the message.
Aaron and I had prayed a very intense prayer long ago, about 18 months ago. Mary was making it very hard for us, as parents. We thought that if any of our children would “buck” the family, or our faith, or our way of living, it would be Mary. She was so bull headed and just didn’t seem to care that your heart was breaking. Aaron and I took our daughter to the Lord in prayer asking Him to intervene before she spent her life making poor decisions. That she would be yielding to the Lord.
“Daddy, will I go to heaven?” A little girl with fuzzy blonde hair looked into her fathers eyes.
The first thing you want to do with a child is to make them secure, to make them feel loved, and that the monsters will never harm her. You want to look into the eyes of our child and say “Of course Hun….” But you can’t. You would be making your own faith seem like a puke of an idea you took up because you needed a hobby, or fell in love with a fairy tale, and you go to the meetings on Sundays and Wednesdays. The hard line of real faith is when you have to draw it for your children.
“If you trust Jesus as your Saviour, and ask Him to forgive your sins, He WILL save you.” This was asked to us by our little mop top at any given moment….In the car, in the church, over macaroni and cheese. It was tempting to push her and say…”You wanna get saved!?!? Do you want to now!?!?” Any child would see it as..’Ooooo I want to please Mommy, I want to make her happy, so I will say this little prayer and then I will be okay….and mommy will like me’.
What really tightens the screws is when your almost 5 year old can articulate Hell. Your heart aches because you understand the reality of life. You understand that in the end of this life there is such a place for those who never believed. You know that the age of innocence is closing for your daughter. She is getting old enough to put the pieces together. She is reaching an age of accountability for her actions…
“Where is Hell? Is there fire there?” Aaron would hold her in his arms and tell her in calm easy language about what the Bible says, he wouldn’t scare her with threatening language. He would simply inform her and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Many times Aaron would pass by me in tears because he had to reveal even to a child the truth of what awaits those that never belonged to the Lord.
These questions were only proving that she was reaching a time and an age that she was understanding more and more.
What made it all clear that she knew and understood was the way she talked about it to Aaron and I.
“Jesus died for our sins.” She would say
“Mary do you know what sin is?”
“Yes, it is the bad things we do.”
“Do you have sin?”
“Yes, everybody does.”
“What are we supposed to do Mary?” Now let me tell you, we ask different questions all the time….and she would initiate the conversations. We didn’t want this to be a memorized drill session.
“ We need to ask Jesus to come into our hearts…to keep us from the fire.”
“Where is the fire Mary?”
“In Hell. “ She would answer simply…
“Does Jesus love you Mary?”
“Yes..” She would look at you like you were crazy, cuz Jesus loves everybody!
These little moments of conversation were peppered throughout the weeks. Aaron and I committed her once again to prayer.
About 2 months ago she started being more pointed with her questions and thoughts. We knew it was close.
In family devotions one night Mary was getting terribly fidgety. Aaron’s subject matter wasn’t anything more than the same “Victor VS loser” story…I motioned for Mary to come and sit in my lap. I tilted her back with me in the chair. She was still listening to the story. Aaron sensed her uneasiness. He started into the gospel message. Believe me, no scare tactics…just the love of Christ…Mary was very restless.
The evening closed. It was the next morning that the spiritual wheels started to turn. Aaron was on vacation. He was running errands in town. Mary came up to me and asked some questions. The same questions, but she was asking about salvation.
I cut her off at one part of something she was saying on the matter. “Honey, are you saved?”
She sighed….”I think I am.”
“How do you know?”
A sigh again….”Mommy will you help me, help me to be saved.”
There it was, the question. Like the light at the end of a dreary tunnel…as clear as Cinderella’s slipper on a velvet cushion….she wanted the gift, she was reaching….I knew Aaron was close in town…I knew he would want to be here….I looked at Mary.
“Do you want to talk to Daddy?” I wasn’t putting her off…I was really trying to see what she would say with a mild distraction. She nodded.
I picked up the phone and called Aaron…I made a brief statement to Aaron that Mary needed to talk.
“Daddy?” Mary never was good on a phone. “Daddy…can you come and talk to me?”
Daddy on the other line was having a hard time hearing her because as usual she got shy on the line.
Mary handed the phone to me. “Hey, Honey, just wondering if you could come home, Mary wants to talk to you.” Without saying more, Aaron knew what I was stabbing at.
“I’ll be right there.”
I hung the phone up, and turned to Mary…it was very hard to not just trot her off to a room and guide her through a conversion. I wanted this to be real, and if indeed it was we would see when we switched parents and let her lead again.
“Daddy will be home in a minute to talk to you.” Mary grinned. Soon Susanna came by. “Hey wanna play dollhouse!?!?”
The girls ran off…it was only about 8 or so minutes before Aaron stepped in the door. Since Mary wasn’t there I gave him a brief synopsis of the conversation. He went to the girl’s room. My suspiciouns were correct. She was sincere. Upon entering the bedroom, where Mary was playing dollhouse, she asked Daddy to talk to her.
I wasn’t wanting to stop anything or be distracting…I simply kept my place at the computer as Daddy and daughter went into the bedroom.
They went into his office. (the following is taken from Daddy’s account)
“Daddy I want to get saved.” She sat on a stack of her daddy’s reference books.
He briefly went over the gospel, reviewing sin, and that sin keeps us from heaven. He told her that Hell was a real place that Jesus didn’t want her to go to. He explained that Jesus loved her very much and died on the cross, and rose again…so she could go to heaven. He told her all she had to do was to ask Jesus to forgive her, Save her, and believe that He can do it.
“Mary, would you like to ask Jesus to forgive you and save you?”
“Yes, Can you help me?” She smiled at her daddy, trusting him to lead the way.
“Okay, let’s pray.” He went on to help lead in prayer. Mary was reverting back into shy mode. She wanted daddy to lead in prayer…as she followed, speaking words that expressed her feelings and faith in the Lord.
Through the miracle of faith our little baby, the one we asked God for…the one that took 4 years to get…completed her second birth, into the family of God.
Aaron asked her. “Mary, if you died today…where would you go?”
“I would go to heaven, because Jesus saved me.” Aaron was extatic. He came out of the room weeping. Tears of joy were in his eyes. Mary bounded down the hallway to see her best friend Moe.
Aaron followed to make sure that Moses wasn’t confused in what happened. As I came around the corner I saw Moses embracing his baby sister.
Susie was in the classroom sticking legos together. Mary looked in
“I got saved.” Mary beamed over the baby gate at her younger sibling. Susie cocked an eyebrow.
“Wellllll That’s silly.” She said a lego in each hand.
Very conscientious of Mary’s easily bruised feelings we were quick to correct our even more sensitive Susie…We all grinned like Barney the dinosaur characters at Susie and said in a chipper voice…”No, it’s a good thing to be saved!”
Susie never moved…only nailed on a smile as fake as Dolly Parton’s fingernails….
“Wellllll then it’s WONDERFUL!” she grinned, still clutching the toys in her hands.
Aaron and I were so close to laughing both from the silliness of the obvious, oblivious Susie, and our Mary trusting the Saviour…Aaron and I shared a precious glance as we left the hallway where Moe and Mary were still talking about the decision made…the last words that will ring in my ears were these….mary who was talking about heaven…and HER mansion….
“Yep, and mine….will be pink, with Gold floors.”
Friday, March 26, 2010
Nipping in the Bud, a life of crime.....A Mary and Susie Story!
There is this side to Mary that is just meaner than a snake. She hits. Matter of fact of all my children, Mary and Nathan are the only hitters. Moses tried this line of work once and quickly found crime didn’t pay.
Mary is also somewhat rough with her siblings. She is an angel of mercy when Mom is on the job. When she feels like she isn’t heard or being played with her only recourse is to snap. She hollers and slaps her brothers or sister on the back. Nathan is the only one that even dares to be cruel to Amy (referring to my previous letter and Amy’s protection policy).
This was particularly funny though one particular afternoon. The girls had for several days been taking nap time and using it for play time. They would sneak toys into the bed and then play house on the bed! The little kitchen and such were set up on their pillows. And under the covers were little houses. They had a very sweet set up. All except that they had HOURS to do this, they didn’t need to do this in the hours of naptime!!!! I would come in, administer a sound parental response to their disobedience scrape the toys out of the sheets, tuck the sniffling females back into place and leave. Sleep would follow very quickly. But, the afternoon that I had just heard enough giggling, and just COULDN’T believe that they were playing again!!!! ……..
I had just warned them in the most sincere manner to go to sleep, that it was NAP TIME, and they needed to obey. Blah blah blah. I cracked open their door, thinking I was gonna get a glimpse of them and their play…What I saw were two little bodies under the massive quilt. (They have been sleeping in the same bed, the full size bottom bunk of Susie’s). They were snickering. They were talking. They were disobeying.
I padded over to the edge of the bunk bed. I listened as they chatted.
“Ohhh, this is my house. Moommmyy.” They made one of the dolls give a wail for the “mommy” of the toys.
“No, This is the Mommy.” The other replied.
“You say, ‘Let’s go to my house!” Susie was giving orders as usual…she was the pace setter for all the games of house that the girls played.
So they played, I stood, the silent watcher of the rebels. Then Susie must have done something wrong, for Mary goes…”Noooo Sue!!”
Then beneath the sheets I hear Mary give Susie several slaps. I waited to hear Susie either retaliate or scream for Mama…..
Susie gave a sound that made it clear that she wasn’t going to play with Mary now. No crying. No screaming…She just scooted further to the edge of the bed. “I want my blankey.” She nuzzled over, her blankey was with her, I had given it to her…and she was quiet, so I knew that she must have wrapped it around her.
“I think I am done with this.” Susie was pushing the quilt off her face.
“Susie” Mary was protesting. “You play with mmmeeeeee….” She whined.
“I’m done…” Susie slid the last corner of the quilt off her face only reveal my face staring hard into hers. She had been playing, she had been awake, she knew that she was in for it. And it was scaring the daylights out of her just to know that mama had been aware the whhhoooollllleee time.
It was all I could do to not burst out laughing from Susie’s expression. I silently placed a finger before my lips….and gave a silent “sshhhh”. Then I wagged my finger in a “Don’t talk” motion. Susie gave a slight nod. She was going to do ANYTHING I said. She knew she was in deep trouble.
“Susie! Susie!” Mary was persisting from under the quilt. “Susie! Come back here and play with me!” Susie looked at me in misery. She listened to her sister incriminate herself at every turn. Then Mary started to shove Susie through the covers. Susie was being scooted across the bed closer and closer to me….the enemy. “SUE-ZEE!!!” Mary was snapping under the tension that her sister wasn’t answering. Susie was in a complete worried state. Would she get in trouble? Or would Mary hit her again for not responding….
Finally Mary had enough and flung the covers back to give her full vial of wrath on her mute sister……….then….She….Saw…..me……..
She sat there with the quilt in her arms. It took her almost a complete 5 seconds to understand what was going on. She shot an irritated look at her little sister….Susie still lay there stiff as a poker. Then Mary turned on her defense tears. They didn’t get far….I didn’t have to say much, I had both girls like putty in the hand. I made the most of the situation. I lowered my gaze to match Mary’s. My prominent concern was that she had been violent with her sister. I placed my finger and my face directly at Mary.
“Don’t, You, ever hit your sister again.” I was very grave, no shouting, just steady admonishment. The girls both had eyes as round as medallions.
I then had to confiscate all contraband, and suggested that they mind. They were very very aware that their Mother must have some kind of super power…They weren’t going to argue, or disobey this time.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
One day I'll be QUEEN!!!!!!! Bark!!
I know I have stated before in previous letters that Susie is my little song bird…well she continues to be so. She sings and sings and sings and…hums, and makes noises….(Mary on the other hand has picked up a knack for “beat box” the noise that rappers make to get a beat….not exactly the thing you want your daughter to do in the middle of Amazing Grace, I have no idea where she picked it up….but it is just something she does…and we try to squelch!).
To give you some back ground to the story I will tell you is this….The kids LOVE their veggie tales, and because we seem to always forget to exchange the DVDs in our van we find that we will watch the same 2 movies over and over and over…one of the movies is the veggietales “Lyle the Kindly Viking”. The other, and the biggest hit with the girls this season, is the Veggietales ‘Esther’. There is a song from Esther that the girls particularly love. We shall call the song “Puppies”…The scene in the film shows a beauty slash talent show for young ladies. This is showing the story of Esther who was taken to the palace in scripture and awaited the king’s approval with other girls. This brings to mind the thought that there must have been a time that the king surveyed the girls before choosing Esther.
So, in the movie, a weird, ditsy gal comes forward with some horn looking hat. She is playing a squeeze box and sings in a rather quirky voice….
“Puppies are cuddly….Puppies are cute….Theeeiiiiir never nasty or Mmmmmmmeeannnn.” Before this chick sings the next line she takes a long dragging nasal breath sucking in VERY DEEPLY “…..I’d give a home to allllllll the lost puppies if ever one dayyyy I were QQQUUUUEEEENNNNNNNNNN!” She crescendos to the end….stops singing…then…..Barks.
This doesn’t seem to bother us as a whole, watching the same thing every time we are on the road…..UNTIL you find yourself singing the songs. Over, and over and over and over…..
So couple together the thought that Susie likes to sing, and then the songs from these movies. You get a pretty crazy picture. Let me paint you one of the pictures we have seen lately.
Every other Friday I have been making it the family’s habit to go grocery shopping. This is no small task, which is one of the reasons I took it out of MY personal schedule and moved it to Aaron and My schedule….This allows for two adults, and more hands to carry groceries both in and out. I was doing this by myself on a week night…or when I had the kids..It was just getting very laborious doing it either by myself or without Aaron and having the kids in tow.
Aaron and I were out braving the weekend crowds of Walmart in Madison, Indiana, He was pushing the girls in one buggy. I had Nathan in the basket part of mine, and Amy in the baby seat. I was selecting the choicest of product for budget amounts. I was trying not to take so long just staring at egg cartons, or cheese…Aaron was with me and face it, even the bravest of men aren’t exactly in love with grocery shopping, with or without children.
The girls for once weren’t fighting while sharing the basket. They used to fit better then they do right now….they are getting to be too big for pushing….So instead of fighting, they thought they would liven up the shopping experience for the shoppers.
Both girls were singing together while we shopped…..Then Susie AND Mary burst forth
“ GUPPPIES ARE CULLY, GUPPIES ARE CUTE….THEY’RE NEVER NASTY OR MMMMEEEEEANNNNN” Then comes the nasal drag……and then they ripped forth again into “ I’D GIVE A HOME TO ALLLLL THE LOST GUPPIES, IF EVER ONE DAY I WERE QQQQQQQUUUUUEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN.” Yeah….they barked at the end of the song too. They were so loud…and they weren’t pronouncing puppies..or cuddly. This was just too, too funny. I wasn’t ashamed, or overly shocked. These were happy kids. And I do think that people would rather kids sing at the top of their lungs then be screaming at a higher decibel.
But then they were really getting with it….Mary would assume the posture of the twerpy gal…She would cross her eyes (the girls eyes were crossed in the film, to essentuate the nutty look the gal had) Then Mary would move her arms back and forth assuming the accordion motion. Then, they would sing again….eyes in character with the song. And they would sing this song over and over. They would also bark, in unison, at the end of every single rendition of this tune. Aaron and I were doing our best to not squelch the fun, while still trying to maintain a certain level of decorum.
Mary though was who was killing us. She pantomimed the song so perfectly, and Susie was barking at perfect pitch….I wish I had a camera…I wish this moment was audible. This would be perfect black mail for future men….an acid test….to see if this was something they would like for the rest of their lives….Goonies.
To give you some back ground to the story I will tell you is this….The kids LOVE their veggie tales, and because we seem to always forget to exchange the DVDs in our van we find that we will watch the same 2 movies over and over and over…one of the movies is the veggietales “Lyle the Kindly Viking”. The other, and the biggest hit with the girls this season, is the Veggietales ‘Esther’. There is a song from Esther that the girls particularly love. We shall call the song “Puppies”…The scene in the film shows a beauty slash talent show for young ladies. This is showing the story of Esther who was taken to the palace in scripture and awaited the king’s approval with other girls. This brings to mind the thought that there must have been a time that the king surveyed the girls before choosing Esther.
So, in the movie, a weird, ditsy gal comes forward with some horn looking hat. She is playing a squeeze box and sings in a rather quirky voice….
“Puppies are cuddly….Puppies are cute….Theeeiiiiir never nasty or Mmmmmmmeeannnn.” Before this chick sings the next line she takes a long dragging nasal breath sucking in VERY DEEPLY “…..I’d give a home to allllllll the lost puppies if ever one dayyyy I were QQQUUUUEEEENNNNNNNNNN!” She crescendos to the end….stops singing…then…..Barks.
This doesn’t seem to bother us as a whole, watching the same thing every time we are on the road…..UNTIL you find yourself singing the songs. Over, and over and over and over…..
So couple together the thought that Susie likes to sing, and then the songs from these movies. You get a pretty crazy picture. Let me paint you one of the pictures we have seen lately.
Every other Friday I have been making it the family’s habit to go grocery shopping. This is no small task, which is one of the reasons I took it out of MY personal schedule and moved it to Aaron and My schedule….This allows for two adults, and more hands to carry groceries both in and out. I was doing this by myself on a week night…or when I had the kids..It was just getting very laborious doing it either by myself or without Aaron and having the kids in tow.
Aaron and I were out braving the weekend crowds of Walmart in Madison, Indiana, He was pushing the girls in one buggy. I had Nathan in the basket part of mine, and Amy in the baby seat. I was selecting the choicest of product for budget amounts. I was trying not to take so long just staring at egg cartons, or cheese…Aaron was with me and face it, even the bravest of men aren’t exactly in love with grocery shopping, with or without children.
The girls for once weren’t fighting while sharing the basket. They used to fit better then they do right now….they are getting to be too big for pushing….So instead of fighting, they thought they would liven up the shopping experience for the shoppers.
Both girls were singing together while we shopped…..Then Susie AND Mary burst forth
“ GUPPPIES ARE CULLY, GUPPIES ARE CUTE….THEY’RE NEVER NASTY OR MMMMEEEEEANNNNN” Then comes the nasal drag……and then they ripped forth again into “ I’D GIVE A HOME TO ALLLLL THE LOST GUPPIES, IF EVER ONE DAY I WERE QQQQQQQUUUUUEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN.” Yeah….they barked at the end of the song too. They were so loud…and they weren’t pronouncing puppies..or cuddly. This was just too, too funny. I wasn’t ashamed, or overly shocked. These were happy kids. And I do think that people would rather kids sing at the top of their lungs then be screaming at a higher decibel.
But then they were really getting with it….Mary would assume the posture of the twerpy gal…She would cross her eyes (the girls eyes were crossed in the film, to essentuate the nutty look the gal had) Then Mary would move her arms back and forth assuming the accordion motion. Then, they would sing again….eyes in character with the song. And they would sing this song over and over. They would also bark, in unison, at the end of every single rendition of this tune. Aaron and I were doing our best to not squelch the fun, while still trying to maintain a certain level of decorum.
Mary though was who was killing us. She pantomimed the song so perfectly, and Susie was barking at perfect pitch….I wish I had a camera…I wish this moment was audible. This would be perfect black mail for future men….an acid test….to see if this was something they would like for the rest of their lives….Goonies.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
"Who" is on first?? - A Moses Story
Abott and Costello used to have a comedy sketch they did that was entitled “Who is on first”. This gag has been a running joke on my side of the family because we really struggle with the way Moses forms his thoughts. You just about want to literally harm yourself to keep you from harming your offspring when trying to explain some of the most simple life lessons to Moe.
Aaron was taking sometime around the house, and I thought it would be a swell time for Moses to get busy on his school work. I patiently explained the problems to him. I sent him on his way. He completed his work fine, a few hiccups in math and such nothing out of the ordinary, UNTILLLLLLLL…….
He came to me with a very basic grammar exercise. The lesson was set up like this.
In the lines below write a sentence using the word listed next to each set of lines. Each sentence will show either surprise, or will ask a question, or will be telling you something…
One of the words he was meant to use was the word…..what. What…..this word obviously placed there to help him form a sentence that made a question….like. “What are we doing today?” Or!! “What would you like for your birthday?” I was delighted, an easy choice for him. He would be done with his work in no time.
He trotted off paper in hand. I went about my choirs. He came out very soon after he went in…I looked at the sentences…and sighed.
“Come on, you didn’t get it….I dunno what you didn’t understand…..” I rubbed my temples…I really wasn’t cut out to be a teacher.
He immediately took the defensive. Have you ever insulted or questioned an artist’s abilities and they just looked at you like a shot puppy…Moses always falls apart when he fails at school work. He sees my marking his paper with my colored pen, as if I am hacking giant red “x”s on his magnum Opis. I mean for crying out loud, he would be getting a new one the next day…what was so dog-gone important about this paper he hardly looked at…
I tried to take the nice personable teacher approach.
“Moses by the looks of these sentences you didn’t understand one word of what I said.” I calmly breathed out.
He stuck his head over at the paper in a bird like fashion. He just had to see what was so awful about his paper….his “baby”. He grimaced at the marks.
“Moe, if you look here this sentence doesn’t even have the word…” I pointed to a simple noun.
“Ohhhhh!” Moses said.
“You wanna fix it?” I scribbled down an answer as he dictated to me a suitable answer for the word provided.
He sank down at his desk, I took the paper in hand again and scanned to the bottom of the page. The sentence he provided for the word “what” was this….’I like legos.’…I made a very irritate face, just because it was such an obvious word…
“I like legos??? Moe…that doesn’t even have “What” in it.” Now mind you this was a statement not a question…
“Ummmm, I dunno?” I looked at him like the aliens just booted him off the ship. What was he talking about…I made a dumb look. Moses was losing his mind now, he is answering when I am not talking.
“Whatever,” I shook my head clear of the gibble gabble he was taking part in. “Moses, This sentence.” I turned the paper, hoping to refresh his memory a second before I turned it back to myself…”This sentence doesn’t have “what” in it. You need to put “what” in it.” Again both of these were reminders to him, a nudge to get him to give me a sentence that had the word “what” in it.
“ I want legos for Christmas.” He looked at me with an eye cocked. He really was trying to tell me something intelligent. Maybe he felt I was telling him the sentence wasn’t long enough…
“NO, there isn’t “what” in that sentence.” He was looking really upset now, and I was on the verge of pulling my hair out…I was trying to not get all hyper.
I dove back in, maybe rephrasing it would help..”Moe, the sentence needs “what” in it. “ I calmly stated it…but in his ears he was hearing a question….
He winced, afraid that his answer would blow my top…..”A……….period????”
I slammed my hands on my hips and marched out of the room….Aaron could hear me coming…
“Heyyyy, what’s going on?” he said, stuffing a snack in his face.
I came in the kitchen flinging my arms… “I just don’t’ understand, I work, and I work, and HE NEVER understands…I just can’t do this! I need to just send him somewhere! I stink at homeschooling, WHY! What is so hard about it????” I was almost pacing, but instead I looked like I belonged on a carousel. I had no mechanics though, just the motion of around and around and up and down.
“Well..” He swallowed. “What did he do?”
I went on to explain…..”I told him and told him that the sentence didn’t have “what” in it. And he keeps giving me these chump answers…I keep telling him. NO. That sentence doesn’t have “what” in it. And he just keeps looking at me like I came from Mars or something!” I stuck a solid forefinger in between my eyebrows trying to prevent any further wrinkles from gathering there…then I went into throwing my fit….”I just kept telling him…What is not in this sentence…is that so hard to understand…WHAT IS NOT IN THIS SENTENCE!?!?!?!”
“What does the sentence need?” He asked very innocently.
I raised my eye brow….was he serious? Or was he just getting a rise out of me? He was serious…then it hit me…..Moses was hearing in every instance, that I was asking him a question…oh what was missing, not that “what” was missing….
Humbly and also chuckling a bit at the silly misunderstanding….I went back down the hall to the classroom.
“Moe?” I was thinking hard, about how to ask it…” I need to you to give me a sentence….And I need you to use this word in it……”what”……use the word…”What” in a sentence….”
“Oh!, Umm, What are we doing today?” He smiled…Cute kid, I could have wrung his neck…
“Write it down.” I turned back into the hall, and found my husband laughing.
Aaron was taking sometime around the house, and I thought it would be a swell time for Moses to get busy on his school work. I patiently explained the problems to him. I sent him on his way. He completed his work fine, a few hiccups in math and such nothing out of the ordinary, UNTILLLLLLLL…….
He came to me with a very basic grammar exercise. The lesson was set up like this.
In the lines below write a sentence using the word listed next to each set of lines. Each sentence will show either surprise, or will ask a question, or will be telling you something…
One of the words he was meant to use was the word…..what. What…..this word obviously placed there to help him form a sentence that made a question….like. “What are we doing today?” Or!! “What would you like for your birthday?” I was delighted, an easy choice for him. He would be done with his work in no time.
He trotted off paper in hand. I went about my choirs. He came out very soon after he went in…I looked at the sentences…and sighed.
“Come on, you didn’t get it….I dunno what you didn’t understand…..” I rubbed my temples…I really wasn’t cut out to be a teacher.
He immediately took the defensive. Have you ever insulted or questioned an artist’s abilities and they just looked at you like a shot puppy…Moses always falls apart when he fails at school work. He sees my marking his paper with my colored pen, as if I am hacking giant red “x”s on his magnum Opis. I mean for crying out loud, he would be getting a new one the next day…what was so dog-gone important about this paper he hardly looked at…
I tried to take the nice personable teacher approach.
“Moses by the looks of these sentences you didn’t understand one word of what I said.” I calmly breathed out.
He stuck his head over at the paper in a bird like fashion. He just had to see what was so awful about his paper….his “baby”. He grimaced at the marks.
“Moe, if you look here this sentence doesn’t even have the word…” I pointed to a simple noun.
“Ohhhhh!” Moses said.
“You wanna fix it?” I scribbled down an answer as he dictated to me a suitable answer for the word provided.
He sank down at his desk, I took the paper in hand again and scanned to the bottom of the page. The sentence he provided for the word “what” was this….’I like legos.’…I made a very irritate face, just because it was such an obvious word…
“I like legos??? Moe…that doesn’t even have “What” in it.” Now mind you this was a statement not a question…
“Ummmm, I dunno?” I looked at him like the aliens just booted him off the ship. What was he talking about…I made a dumb look. Moses was losing his mind now, he is answering when I am not talking.
“Whatever,” I shook my head clear of the gibble gabble he was taking part in. “Moses, This sentence.” I turned the paper, hoping to refresh his memory a second before I turned it back to myself…”This sentence doesn’t have “what” in it. You need to put “what” in it.” Again both of these were reminders to him, a nudge to get him to give me a sentence that had the word “what” in it.
“ I want legos for Christmas.” He looked at me with an eye cocked. He really was trying to tell me something intelligent. Maybe he felt I was telling him the sentence wasn’t long enough…
“NO, there isn’t “what” in that sentence.” He was looking really upset now, and I was on the verge of pulling my hair out…I was trying to not get all hyper.
I dove back in, maybe rephrasing it would help..”Moe, the sentence needs “what” in it. “ I calmly stated it…but in his ears he was hearing a question….
He winced, afraid that his answer would blow my top…..”A……….period????”
I slammed my hands on my hips and marched out of the room….Aaron could hear me coming…
“Heyyyy, what’s going on?” he said, stuffing a snack in his face.
I came in the kitchen flinging my arms… “I just don’t’ understand, I work, and I work, and HE NEVER understands…I just can’t do this! I need to just send him somewhere! I stink at homeschooling, WHY! What is so hard about it????” I was almost pacing, but instead I looked like I belonged on a carousel. I had no mechanics though, just the motion of around and around and up and down.
“Well..” He swallowed. “What did he do?”
I went on to explain…..”I told him and told him that the sentence didn’t have “what” in it. And he keeps giving me these chump answers…I keep telling him. NO. That sentence doesn’t have “what” in it. And he just keeps looking at me like I came from Mars or something!” I stuck a solid forefinger in between my eyebrows trying to prevent any further wrinkles from gathering there…then I went into throwing my fit….”I just kept telling him…What is not in this sentence…is that so hard to understand…WHAT IS NOT IN THIS SENTENCE!?!?!?!”
“What does the sentence need?” He asked very innocently.
I raised my eye brow….was he serious? Or was he just getting a rise out of me? He was serious…then it hit me…..Moses was hearing in every instance, that I was asking him a question…oh what was missing, not that “what” was missing….
Humbly and also chuckling a bit at the silly misunderstanding….I went back down the hall to the classroom.
“Moe?” I was thinking hard, about how to ask it…” I need to you to give me a sentence….And I need you to use this word in it……”what”……use the word…”What” in a sentence….”
“Oh!, Umm, What are we doing today?” He smiled…Cute kid, I could have wrung his neck…
“Write it down.” I turned back into the hall, and found my husband laughing.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Observations From a Restaurant Table..
The last day of February…was a Sunday. I was in a less than peppy mood. I don’t know why, I was just a little deflated. I went about my morning droopy. I conveyed to Aaron that I would cheer up, and to not worry about me. He helped me by letting me chat with him a bit as I finished applying my makeup. I did indeed feel better by the time we left the house.
I had no idea that Aaron was going to surprise me later with a trip to Cracker Barrel. This was such a nice thing to do. I would enjoy the time relaxing in a restaurant, the hum of a crowd, and the smell of food I didn’t have to cook OR CLEAN UP! Eating out isn’t in our dialect. We just hardly do it…OH sure we eat McDonalds, or such, mostly it is picked up in drive through and distributed in the van…Which leaves a dandy mess for me to find….For one thing Aaron set a bit of a standard, not CONCRETE but just a little nudge that said….”We don’t shop on Sunday’s” or “I don’t want to go out, Hun, it’s Sunday.” At first I just wanted to scream…but I found that as time went on…it was kind of nice to not even have the option to run around…Aaron has in the past years found a settling place. A balance between the THOU SHALT NOT…and the THOUST CAN! His main thought is that someone, somewhere had to miss church in order to be your waitress….an interesting thought…never the less…We have made somewhat of an exception here and there…
We pulled into the Cracker Barrel parking lot and the kids were so excited. I looked over my shoulder to see Mary. Her face alive with excitement over this unexpected treat!
“Mommy!!! We gonna eat at Cracker-head??” I chuckled at her…so precious.
“Mom?? Are we gonna eat here?” Moe timidly asked from the back…I guess he still thinks his parents are such nerds that we never can have fun. OR he was suppressing the let-down it would bring if or when we said “no’’.
We pulled in. Amy had already dosed off. Her little tow hair wisped around her little hair bows. She was adorable in her red and black plaid dress. Her tiny white high-tops, her little pom-pom hair bows. She looked like a perfect cherub. I tucked her little sweater around her. We started to pour out of our little Kia Sedona….our 15 passenger was out of operation.
Aaron carried Amy, and had one girl by the hand. I had a girl by the hand, and Nathan. Moses had the bag. We walked along. I am sure we looked like a picture postcard. The kids looked wonderful, I admit I was proud. Aaron was wearing his suit, with a new black dress shirt, and of all things…a stark white tie. I told him he looked like a gangster…he thought it was funny…okay…he could be one of the good guys…..Dick Tracy. Moses was sweet in a soft blue shirt. Amy was of course in a black and red dress, decked all out, in frills. Mary wore a black corduroy jumper with pink accents and matching leggings and socks…Susie wore her (I call it her Catholic school girl dress) Big blue, red, and white plaids and a smart little red sweater to go with…both the big girls had braids going down each side of their face…Nathan, Tan Corduroy pants, plaid dress shirt, and a sweater vest…his hair all but completely shaved off (makes for easier clean up). I also wore plaid, a coordination of maroon, black, and grey. On we marched, towards the front porch of the restaurant.
It already was beginning, the looks, and the smiles, and the downright gawk-i-dry of being in public with all the kiddies. This doesn’t bother me. I know many mothers that it really makes mad. I don’t mind. I enjoy showing off the kids.
We amazingly got a table right off. The poor reception lady was a frazzle when I told her we needed 3 boosters and one high chair and we were seating 7….Of course I didn’t throw it at her like I was her evil-math-teacher. I said it very sweetly. J.
Moses and Aaron were in the bathroom. So I took Amy, Nathan, Mary, and Susie to the table. I used my many finger method…This is where I say “Come Kids.” And I put my hand out making my fingers as far apart as I can…Then Each child will reach up and grab a finger. They all make room for one another while walking, but it helps. I moved really smoothly through the crowd. Which was a miracle. It is very probable that I could have dropped something, Or the kids would trip and then there would be the tears, because a dozen on lookers would all go “Awwwwwww”. (One of the worst things that can be done for a child in public…honestly one of the best things is when people let me handle it and look away, acting like they never saw it….I know it sounds cruel but kids will play that sympathy up and it makes my job soooooo much harder…..) We arrive at our table. I am immediately followed by Aaron…we start the process of getting seats in place…This is probably the most stressful time..because you don’t want to smack some bystander with your purse. Or point a child that spits up over someone’s shoulder. You really really aim to cause the least amount of havoc. All the while keep smiling.
The folks at Cracker Barrel kept trying to put the kids between Aaron and I….I directed them to put all the kiddies at one end…while Aaron and I got to sit opposite one another with Amy to one side. You could see the skepticism. We sat down. The children were all given their coloring menus and crayons. No whining, no fussing, just calm little heads bent over their pages…and then dinner arrived. Again no fuss, not a whine for who got what…..peace….(which I must tell you, was as nice a surprise to me, but still, they do behave at home, so why shouldn’t they behave in public)
The dinner progressed. This brought many people bored with their meal to stare at our table. They would chat, and they just couldn’t help themselves…They would invariably end up head on hand, eyes resting on my little ones. This posture exposed many thoughts and many feelings you feel you can read in their faces. I get this from time to time…sometimes when I am shopping with all the kids. But most people are too rushed to notice…but in a restaurant people have more time to think, and to stare, and…………….what are they doing….I can’t help but feel from my spot at my table with my 5 little ones…I am on some kind of display. Sitting there, the matriarch of the family, feeling at times glad and sad for those who are thinking on my family.
As I take a sip of my Mr.Pibb I can see an elderly couple. They must be in their late 70’s….maybe even 80’s. Her withered hand trembles as she raises her coffee cup. Her downy hair in little lumps that must have been meant to resemble curls. Her gangly husband is in his thin plaid shirt. His very shiny metal glasses are perched just so on his nose…She nudges him, as she places her cup on the saucer. I can see she is talking about my family….because she is old enough to point at my table. She giggles and looks back at her husband….
What are they talking about over there? Those two blessed old folk….Is she thinking of when she was me…Am I by my very presence taking her back to when she was buttoning little cardigans on her little angels…or polishing the little white shoes. Her face is in love with anything my babies do. To her, I can tell, they are precious. I want to go and plop Amy in her lap. And listen to the time “That back in the day…..”
Then there are the middle aged Ladies that just smile. They let their apple cheeks raise up in a big smile. They aren’t as brave as Granny. They watch only until they know I see them. But I know they are watching….because I at times catch them staring. To these ladies my children are a symbol of some kind of hope….My children are like watching a live Norman Rockwell portrait come to life. The serene family moment, Mom and Dad having a lovely chat…while the children happily and calmly nibble their steak fries and chicken fingers.
This is the most likely group to come to me and TELL me they think I have a lovely family, and what a good job I am doing…It is so nice to hear. They are encouraging. I know it wasn’t very long ago that these ladies were in my shoes…They are most likely to tell me of their grandchildren that are “That one’s age” or “About his size”. I exchange pleasantries.
As I sit and continue to enjoy my baked potato I see other faces, the faces that never make contact with me, faces that are sad, or confused.
The couple sitting there, she, in her late 30’s with a gentleman that is looking at something far away. She is lost in the site of 5 children….”What is she thinking” I wonder as I see her eyes….not completely hollow, but just a lost look. This is the look that makes me want to dig into that ladies mind, the ladies my heart breaks for….Did she want a big family? Was she unable to? Is her heart aching at the very sight of my kids? Then I look at him, did he not want anymore? Then I think of the thought….”Did they lose one?” how sad….That would make it hard. I watch her look at my babies and see shadows of thought flicker across her face. Visions of something, that no one will know…but all of their movements are focusing in her mind as she watches my table.
I especially enjoy the reaction from the newly-wed crowd. This crowd is a mix bag of all kinds of emotions “WHOA” or “AWWW” are both in this group. But every now and again you’ll see a young lady with her young man….and they both look at my darlings and they will grin, and she will say something to him…He smiles…looks and then turns back to her…he says something…they giggle, they both look at my kids…then they kiss… I just grin….I remember dreaming with my Honey back, 10 yrs ago. BEFORE children.
I think the most arrogant feeling I get is when I get the looks from other parents who are there with their own children. She is trying to get the baby to take a bite….the baby screams! She is slumped over her plate. The husband is giving a “look” and not at the angry baby…but the mother who didn’t present the spoon full of grits in the “right” manner. She throws a look his way that says “THEN YOU FEED IT!” the toddler on the other side of the table is saying “I want YOUR biscuit!!!”Then starts to flail about “NO…!!!! Mommy….NO NO NO NO!!!!” The father finally leans over and the kid arches his back against the chair and slunks down…in a gross pout…gut stuck out, and chin on chest….The parents look at each other….both of their kids yelping….They look over at my table…
I try to act like I don’t see their pain….remember the advice on the child that falls in public…it goes for embarrassed parents as well…it doesn’t help to look at them with a “knowing” look and say…”Awwwww is she okay??? Or did he want another biscuit??? Pooooooooooor ggguuuuyyyyyyy” It doesn’t help….That mother knows…that her kids are being brats. No soft shoeing around it will change that…Do my kids always act like angels…NO WAY….do they do bratty things YES!!!! But if I sense that they are in crabby disagreeable moods, I DON”T DO RESTAURANTS!!! I know it is coming…it is crazy to expect a child who is prone to anger and madness to all the sudden be everyone’s angel because everyone is watching…Everyone watching only intensifies the confrontation…..Think JR. can’t pick up on your anxious being…..think again…They know when the pressure is on, and when the vote will be in their favor…..That child will GET another biscuit….just wait until that waiter comes…He wants to help keep the kid quiet too!!
The look they send our way would almost make you laugh, if you already hadn’t squelched that, and were in the process of driving down the urge to go and say some very pointed things on the issue of that child’s behavior. They look so tired. They look so bedraggled. They look at you like you are mocking them on purpose…that somehow since your children aren’t massaging potatoes into the table, you make them look all the worse!!!
Things went seamlessly. A gentleman we knew by a mutual friend came and shook Aaron’s hand and told him that he was always impressed with our family. We thanked him. We sat back…and made the motion to leave.
The same faces that were so happy to see us arrive now smile openly at my children in a “farewell” gesture. The old-old couples are waving with abandon, even poking their table mates to do the same to the “sweet babies” as they like to call my little ones.
The Middle aged ladies almost knock their table down to get a chance to tell me…”You have a beautiful family, it was such a Ppllleaaaaasure to see such a nice, nice family sitting all together…what a pleasure. I teach so I know what kids are like and your family is like….WOW…..I know that doesn’t come from nowhere, I tell ya mom, keep up the good work” I just nodded like an idiot…I loved what I was hearing from her, that the kids were a blessing, but never the less it was unexpected…no sooner had she stopped talking than another lady came up to me….her bright blue shirt making her very dark hair only seem that much darker…Her expression was just a burst of excitement as she told me “
I just couldn’t help but notice…your chiilllllldrrrennn (why did both these ladies draw out sounds…so neat…like I was a 5’7” infant that needed to be crooned over), your chiilllddrreen were an ab-so-lute joy. I just loved this little ones hair! (she motioned towards Susanna). They are just all soooo adorable.”
So here we were standing a family of 7…and 2 other ladies swarming around us…and the faces of the dining area all focused our way, or at least that was the way it felt.
I scooted my kiddies through the restaurant…people waved, and ladies leaned out of their tables and said things to the kids…..it was like a mini parade……
Aaron and I all but did a victory dance before we loaded…..”Yes!!! They behaved…the WHOLE time!!!” We of course didn’t say it but we both had this Pleased-as-punch expression.
It wasn’t until we were on our way home, and we were putting tired little bodies down for an afternoon nap that it hit me….The smiles, and the faces, the joy….. I must be careful, and not go into a rant….but as Believers in Christ, I wish more people were having families…..Not just a propagation of the human race, but FAMILIES….there is a difference…A family, brings joy, brings peace, and happiness to their fellow man.
As my children age, they are bringing me so much joy. The love they show. Their little faces beaming with love or their little arms wrapping around my neck, and a little voice saying “Mommy, I love you, you’re my favorite.” I realize I am blessed, I was blessed just from sitting…in a restaurant, on the last day of February.
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